Conservatives accuse other parents of programming their kids. Of forcing an agenda. Of indoctrinating children into an ideology that destroys them.
But the accusation is the confession.
They assume control is the default, because control is their method.
They’re terrified of a child who decides for themselves because such removes the parent’s authority. And they should be terrified. Because the authority was never theirs to begin with.
Listening isn’t programming. When a kid says “I am trans” and the parent says “okay,” that’s not indoctrination. That’s following the child. When a kid says “I am straight” and the parent says “okay,” that’s also following the child.
But the conservative parent says “you’re wrong and you must change.”
That’s the programming.
That’s the force.
“Boys don’t cry.” “Act like a lady.” “You’ll grow out of it.” “It’s just a phase.” “Pray harder.”
The dress codes, the forced gender roles, the specific ways they mold children into the shape they want. That’s not parenting. That’s programming. They call affirmation, grooming, because they can’t name what they do. What they do is force. What they do is control. What they do is program.
And… the programming doesn’t even work.
Centuries of straight propaganda. Every movie. Every book. Every TV show. Every commercial. Every song. Every story. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. Boy keeps girl. Heterosexuality everywhere. On every screen. In every classroom. In every church. In every home. If exposure determined identity, there would be no gay people. The propaganda didn’t work. Identity isn’t programmed. It’s discovered. If all of that straight programming couldn’t make gay kids straight, a rainbow flag in a classroom isn’t going to make a straight kid trans. The existence of gay people after centuries of heterosexual conditioning is the proof that identity can’t be imposed. The “social contagion” lie is the same denial with a new label. Kids aren’t catching it from TikTok. They’re disclosing because they finally have language for what they’ve always felt.
The religious component isn’t separate from the programming. It’s actually the source code. The god who sends bears to maul forty-two children for making fun of a bald prophet. The god who drowns the entire world including the innocent kids. The god who kills the firstborn of Egypt. The god who demands Abraham sacrifice his son just to prove that he’ll obey. The god who hardens Pharaoh’s heart and then punishes him for it. The god who says “spare the rod, spoil the child.” The god who says children who curse their parents should be put to death. The god who lets children get cancer. The god who lets his own priests abuse kids and then covers it up.
This is the god who teaches them how to parent.
A god who controls. A god who punishes. A god who demands obedience without question. A god who kills children for disobedience. A god who tests faith by asking you to sacrifice what you love most. The parenting is the theology. The theology is the parenting. Both are about control. Both are about power. Both leave bodies in their wake. The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. And that tree is rotten…
The bodies are everywhere. The kids who died from faith healing because parents prayed instead of calling a doctor. The kids who killed themselves after conversion therapy. The kids beaten for “spare the rod.” The kids abused by clergy and silenced by the church. The kids told their depression was demonic possession. The kids shamed into purity culture and then punished for being human.
Leelah Alcorn walked into traffic on December 28, 2014. She was seventeen. Her parents wouldn’t let her transition. They sent her to conversion therapy. They took away her phone. They isolated her from her friends. She left a note… “Fix society. Please.”
That’s not programming. That’s the cost of denial. The religious programming is the original programming. The current panic about trans kids is just the latest version. The mechanism is the same. The control is the same. The bodies are the same. Just different labels. The god who lets kids die of cancer is the same god these parents invoke to deny their kids life-saving healthcare. The theology demands sacrifice. The kids are the sacrifice.
And that sacrifice is quite profitable. The conversion therapy industry. The religious counseling. The politicians who fundraise off the panic. The programming has a price tag. The parents pay it with their children’s lives. The pastors collect it with their children’s tithes. The politicians bank it with their children’s votes. The fear is the product. The control is the profit. The bodies are the overhead.
The school is where the child escapes the parent’s control. So, the parent extends the control into the school. The parent who can’t control the kid at home, uses the state the same way the church uses the parent. Different enforcer. Same master.
Don’t Say Gay. Book bans. Forced outing policies. Laws banning gender affirming care are laws saying the parent owns the child’s body. Laws banning books are laws saying the parent owns the child’s mind. “Parental rights” is the right to control. To force. To deny. The parallel to other historical moments when people had the “right” to control others’ bodies. Husbands raping wives. Owners beating slaves. The right to control another person’s body is always wrong. And it’s always called a right by the person doing the controlling.
The evidence is clear. The American Academy of Pediatrics. The Endocrine Society. The actual doctors who support gender affirming care. Kids with supportive parents have drastically lower suicide rates. Kids with conservative parents who deny their identity have higher rates. The data is the evidence. The outcome is the verdict. This has happened before. The same arguments. The same denial. The same suicides. The same parents saying “it’s just a phase.” The same churches saying “pray harder.” The same politicians saying “protect the children.”
They were wrong then, and they’re wrong now. Conversion therapy for gay kids is abuse. Conversion therapy for trans kids is abuse. The only thing that changed is the target.
It’s a parent’s job to guide, not to control. Guiding means walking beside the child. Controlling means dragging them behind you. Guiding means listening. Controlling means dictating. Guiding means accepting. Controlling means forcing. The parent who guides says “who are you?” The parent who controls says “who I say you are.”
The only way to stop the fear is to trust the kids. Not the parents. Not the state. Not the church. Not the god who kills children for disobedience. The kids know who they are. Everyone else just needs to get out of the way. The unconditional love that demands nothing. The conditional love that demands obedience. One saves lives. The other ends them.
Trust the kids.
Or… keep sacrificing them to a god who doesn’t even care if they actually live.
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