Word To The Wise: Gate Disgrace

By E. Roberts Musser

I consider myself a fairly mellow person, and I don’t embarrass easily.  However, as I was going through airport security recently, a TSA agent subjected me to a pat down that was somewhat humiliating.  I’ve tried to take it with a sense of humor, as in the scheme of things it was not that big a deal.  Let’s put it this way, I’ve heard of stories a lot worse.

I’m a female senior citizen, 62 years of age, and somewhat overweight.  I’ve had three children, which as every woman knows, does interesting things to the body.  I’ve also had major intestinal surgery, with a huge scar running up and down my torso.  As a result, my stomach is no longer as flat as it used to be in my youth.  But then, whose is at age 62, male or female?  Where am I going with this?  Let me explain.

In preparing for the airport, I wore slip-on shoes, slacks, a short-sleeved sweater and jacket.  I had no pockets to put anything in.  I had no jewelry on my person.  Nor did I have any implanted medical devices.  I took off my jacket and placed it in a bin along with my shoes, carry-on and computer.  I went through the airport scanner like everyone else.  After I passed through the scanner, I was told to wait, by squarely planting my feet on the mat underneath me.

After a few seconds, I heard someone behind me give the okay.  I had passed through the scanner without a hitch.  Then a TSA agent stepped in front of me, spotting my slightly bulging stomach.  It pushed the waistband of my pants out slightly, so that my sweater pooched out a bit at the waist.  Frankly, my physique is pretty normal for a 62 year old woman who has had three babies and surgery on her gut.

So what did the TSA agent do?  The tiny woman, all of five foot tall, quite chunky and no fashion plate herself – but with a stomach well hidden within her stodginess – pointed to my waist.  She demanded “What’s that?”  Now how do you answer a stupid question like that?  If it had been a weapon or explosives, did she really think I would have said “It’s a gun!” or “It’s a bomb!” and then whipped it out to use on passersby?  If I had brought a concealed weapon, would I have made it so obvious?

In response to her silly inquiry, I politely answered, “It’s my pants.”  The female TSA agent then became more agitated, asking me about the bulge at the waist under my sweater.  I literally lifted the sweater to show her the waistband of my pants, and stated very calmly “It’s my stomach.”  Clearly the tactless woman did not believe me, by the doubtful expression on her face.   I came very close to unzipping my pants and pulling them down slightly, to prove to her there was nothing more sinister in there than my tummy.

I don’t know what she thought she was going to find, but she asked if she could pat me down.  Since I preferred being touched in public rather than in a back room somewhere out of sight, I replied “Sure.”  She was very professional in manner, feeling my bulge, and finally recognized it for what it was – my less than perfect body.  I finally passed inspection, and was waved on through.  But not after feeling rather self-conscious about having my physical shortcomings trumpeted for all to hear.  Although I doubt very much that anyone else was paying a bit of attention.

So now it would seem that I must wear stretch pants with no waistband bulges; then suck in my gut hard and hold it, once I’ve passed through the scanner – if I don’t want rude questions directed my way accompanied with a patdown.  Apparently the scanner that thoroughly irradiated me couldn’t figure out the difference between metal, explosives, cloth or flesh.  What that tells me is the scanners aren’t worth a plug nickel if the TSA agents themselves don’t trust the images they are seeing right in front of them.

Just for curiosity, I looked up the TSA rules for pat downs.  Here is what I found on their website: http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/pat_downs.shtm.

“What triggers a pat-down?
Pat-downs are used to resolve alarms at the checkpoint, including those triggered by metal detectors and AIT units. Pat-downs are also used when a person opts out of AIT screening in order to detect potentially dangerous and prohibited items. Because pat-downs are specifically used to resolve alarms and prevent dangerous items from going on a plane, the vast majority of passengers will not receive a pat-down at the checkpoint.

What can I do to prevent an alarm at the security checkpoint?
The majority of pat-downs occur when a passenger alarms either the metal detector or the AIT unit. To reduce this circumstance, the most important thing you can do is take everything out of your pockets before you go through screening. Also, when traveling, avoid wearing clothes with a high metal content, and put heavy jewelry on after you go through security.

What do I do during a pat-down?
All passengers have important rights during a pat-down. You have the right to request the pat-down be conducted in a private room and you have the right to have the pat-down witnessed by a person of your choice. All pat-downs are only conducted by same-gender officers. The officer will explain the pat-down process before and during the pat-down. If you have a medical device, please inform the officer.”

For the life of me, I cannot figure out where I went wrong, other than to have a less than perfect body and made the mistake of wearing cloth pants with a waistband.  On my return trip I decided to change attire, and wore a pair of slacks with a loose blouse.  I sailed through security with ease and no patdown.  So it would seem the trick is to wear looser clothing, where it is much easier to hide a dangerous tummy – or a dangerous weapon!  If that isn’t the height of irony – our own security measures are essentially making things less safe!

Here’s the kicker though.  While I was being meticulously patted down for carrying a loaded tummy gut, 38 TSA workers were recently fired in Florida for failing to carry out secondary screening of random passengers.  It was one of the largest disciplinary actions in the agency’s history.  12 TSA agents were fired for botched baggage inspections in North Carolina. 8 TSA agents were suspended for sleeping on the job in New Jersey.  28 TSA agents were suspended for failing to screen bags for explosives in Hawaii.  See the following link for more information: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/04/tsa-workers-fired-suspended-for-violating-screening-protocol_n_1569152.html

You gotta’ love the TSA though.  They have been shamed into implementing new rules for older senior citizens.  According to an article at: http://www.independenttraveler.com/blog/?p=4883:

“Older travelers at select U.S. airports will no longer have to take off their shoes at the security checkpoint as of Monday, March 19. It’s part of a new set of screening procedures that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is testing for fliers age 75 and up.

The new measures go beyond just leaving your shoes on. Older travelers will also be permitted to make a second pass through the full body scanner if any anomalies are spotted (as opposed to submitting immediately to a pat-down), and will be able to go through the machine without removing light outerwear. The TSA says screeners will also rely more heavily on explosives trace detection.”

I’m sure this was as a direct result of the horrendously bad publicity generated by the ugly and humiliating back-room patdowns of seniors with colostomy bags and surgical implants that went viral over the internet.

At this point my feeling is those expensive airport scanning machines the public has spent so much money on were a colossal waste of taxpayer dollars.  Clearly the TSA doesn’t trust its own equipment, and I don’t trust the TSA agents.  Airport security is one thing, but security procedures now feel as if one has been booked and processed through jail after committing a crime.  No wonder passengers are feeling violated – which are the exact words someone used who went through airport screening right before me.  I knew exactly how she felt.  I wondered what humiliation she had suffered at the hands of the TSA?

Lesson to be learned:  Be careful what you wear at the airport.  Slip-on shoes, baggy blouses and stretch trousers without waistbands or pockets is best to get you through security without being subjected to a pat-down.  Above all, remain polite.

Elaine Roberts  Musser is an attorney who concentrates her efforts on elder law and aging issues, especially in regard to consumer affairs.  If you have a comment or particular question or topic you would like to see addressed in this column, please make your observations at the end of this article in the comment section.

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