By Anonymous.
In February 2021, I sent a message to the Davis Vanguard about my former church, Grace Valley Christian Center (GVCC). I was born and raised a member of GVCC. I was baptized at age eight. I went to the church’s private academy (GVCA) from Kindergarten through the ninth grade, and I attended GVCC regularly with my family until July 2019, when I was 23 years old.
I asked the Vanguard’s staff if they would consider writing an investigative article on GVCC and its abusive practices. Since then, the website has published three separate articles detailing some of the spiritual and emotional abuse GVCC inflicts on its members. I’m grateful for the work the Vanguard has done; I know the staff has conducted scores of interviews with past members and I believe they have attempted to contact GVCC’s leadership as well.
The Vanguard has so far kept all of its sources for the series (including me) 
anonymous to protect us from any retribution. While I appreciate the Vanguard’s willingness to put itself at the forefront of this, it struck me recently that the accusations don’t have the same bite that they would if the accusers were named. If you’re anonymous, you can pretty much say whatever you want.
Since I’m the one responsible for the series coming about in the first place, it’s only right that I own up to it. While I certainly can’t account for every accusation made in the series, I can say that its content quite accurately captures the abusive, frightening, and downright creepy methods of control employed by GVCC’s leadership.
I fully believe that GVCC is a cult. Pretty much anyone who leaves or challenges the Pastor’s authority is cut off from the community; members are taught to shun those who leave, even their own family members. When I left, I was told I had been “disfellowshipped,” a term I have since learned is closely associated with the Jehovah’s Witness faith. Until I was 15 and old enough to go to public high school, all of my social relationships were with people in the church. Even once I attended public school, close relationships with outsiders were discouraged. (Today, I believe the church also has its own high school, to make things worse). The Pastor regularly taught that GVCC was the only truly Bible-believing church in California (and one of very few in the entire world), and that all other churches were “synagogues of Satan.” Many church families, including my own, had framed pictures of the Pastor hanging in their homes, projecting an image less of a loving shepherd and more of a dictator.
The church is heavily invested in all its members’ private lives. I had to write weekly emails to elders in the church documenting what I’d been doing at work and school, whom I’d been spending time with outside of church, what my plans were for the near- and long-term future. Before I could make any decision of real consequence in my life (what college to attend, what subject to major in, what job to take, whom to ask on a date, etc.) I had to meet with church leaders at length and have my choices approved. More often than not, they did not approve; I was not allowed to go to any school other than UC Davis or Sacramento State, nor was I even allowed to move from Davis to Sacramento even when I was attending Sac State and working in Sacramento full time. I was told that I had been drifting away from the Kingdom of God, and that if I didn’t do everything I was told, I’d be buying myself a one-way ticket to hell.
So, I finally left. I’m sure GVCC’s leaders see this as proof that they were right. I moved away, turned my back on God. If only they could see that they were the ones who pushed me away. Not once did I feel a drop of God’s love at GVCC; never did I see the humility and grace of Jesus Christ in its leaders. All I remember is being called wicked and worthless, being told that I would never be able to make it without their help, being chastised for every bit of personality and individuality I expressed until I finally became quiet, unassuming, bland, easy to manipulate and control. And I remember being taught to hate myself, to not trust my own instincts and emotions, to treat my thoughts as though they came from the Devil.
I used to always feel like I was going crazy, like there was something about GVCC that I was missing, and was constantly afraid that my doubts signified a sinful heart. I can’t count how many nights I cried myself to sleep, begging God to save me, to outright transform me into a different person who suddenly enjoyed life at GVCC. I would scratch at my skin until I bled hoping God would see my penance and renew my heart. Predictably, that never happened. Instead, I shoved every bit of tender emotion down into the recesses of my heart and replaced it with self-loathing. And for what purpose? What was I working toward? Nothing. This life is short and absurd, but that doesn’t mean it has no value. There are no treasures in store for those who self-flagellate and view happiness as weakness. There is only a cold, dark and uncaring world. There is no reward for misery; there is only misery.
I probably could, given the time and mental fortitude, write a whole series of books outlining the many awful experiences I had at GVCC, and the toll they took on my mental and spiritual health. This isn’t the place to elaborate in detail. My purpose in all this is twofold: first, to warn the Davis community about this cult; second, to reach anyone currently in GVCC (or a similarly abusive church) and let them know that any doubts or concerns they have are valid, and that they’re not alone.
A cult is an unpopular religion whereas religion is a popular cult.
Where u been Chris?
I miss your commenting.
Why thank you Keith ?
For someone the reason I’m having to work a whole bunch lately and haven’t had time to post here. I’ve always found that posting on the vanguard is a great way to escape reality ?
Interesting choice . . . I may have gone with the New York Times, or the Chronicle, or the Bee . . . but . . .
I appreciate your courage in coming out publicly on this with you name. It is never easy taking on an institution and there can be consequences, and in some cases as we’ve seen in recent TV documentaries on cults, can be downright dangerous. I do, as well, appreciate the Vanguard running this series.
I know a member of the Manson family and another person who helped deprogram some of his followers and relay key information to prosecutors to bring Manson down. So I am fascinated and familiar with cult dynamics. Some of what you bring up follows the patterns, and some sounds like what churches do — which brings up the question of where that line is. I have been peripherally hanging out with a group that has been called a cult by some over the years and found it anything but, although some of its members seems to act that way — I just avoid those people. So it really begs CG’s observation as a question: where is that dividing line between a religion and a cult?
Alan M, why are belittling Frank for using the most accessible media venue available to him? There are too many of these cults for the NY Times to specifically choose this one, it’s generally outside of the Chronicle’s beat, and Bee reporters are difficult to get ahold (I’ve tried). This is specific to Davis, so it should be reported in a Davis media outlet.
According to the apparent intent of the article, the difference between a religion and a cult is not popularity but abusiveness.
“You can’t do well without us” is an example of abusive persuasion pattern. The non abusive pattern is “we offer this help, you are free to choose us or others without prejudice.”
All the unhelpful smart remarks of others on this aside, you hit the nail squarely, Edgar. A cult binds its members at all costs; severs members’ relationships with non-cult members if those relationships empower the victim in any way and thus threaten the absolute control of the cult; threaten the member personally (and by extension member’s family and loved ones) if you show any resistance. That is the difference and it’s a big one. It’s like asking “what’s the difference between being married and being in an abusive relationship?” I guess some folks just can’t resist cracking a joke at the expense of compassion and understanding.
There’s no clear difference, only degrees of difference.
Even the author mentioned one of the major “religions” in the same type of light.
I can think of some others.
One interesting story I heard was the palm reader who was asked to give the opposite readings from what he actually saw for one day. He said he was amazed to discover that the customers were still responding to the opposite readings exactly as they normally did with the correct readings. He’d use the opposite readings to suggest things about the customer’s personality or life and the customer would agree and say it was accurate (you know, those typical psychic things like “I sense some sorrow in the recent past”, “oh ya, I just broke up with my boyfriend, how did you know!”). So this palm reader now believes it was all fake and that he never was psychic after all.